WEB OF DESPAIR

By Oyinloye Bosun

I have always wondered why faith has failed me, it has left me with hope of a better genotype than “AS”, ever since my birth. For no other reason, my parents has made it a habit for themselves, always singing a warning song, which against my marriage with anyone with either a compound S or a dependent S genotype.

I fought through my teenage years trying to understand why until I grew older. So, I decided to help myself to save the risk they have always claimed if such bound exists. This has really been a big issue for me in my relationship with assumed fiance so-called boyfriends, as I awkwardly seek to know their genotype. Some will rather leave without notice, refusing any explanation while others understood what is at stake.

It went on like that not until I met Bolaji, that one man I have been dreaming of, whom I would not mind marrying even if he was to be a SS carrier, he does not appear like a carrier though, he has appeared very healthy and have a desirable body build. I was blind in love like I had from most love tales, that l did not bother talking about it, to avoid loosing him as well. He has remained mute about the matter as well, so I kept deceiving my parents, claiming my fiance is an AA genotype carrier.This tale led to a happy marriage, until after my first child was born.

Having gone through enough discomfort during the c.section, I was grateful for the success at last, which left lot of happiness in the atmosphere. After 9 days in admission due to the operation, not quit long after my discharge, the doctor requested for the presence of my husband and I.

“Your baby is an SS carrier and a strong one at that. I am sorry to say this but, this is as a result of your carelessness to have avoided or failed to seek a professional health consultancy agent for proper genotype compatibility advice. Both of you are carriers of the sickle cell anemia, with Mr Bolaji a compound carrier and this has affected your new born child’s genotype.”

I watched the doctor’s lips as they moved, uttering all of that statement and I was struck at heart and shocked at hearing the part about Bolaji’s genotype. Definitely, he would feel the same at that moment. I should have remained as careful as before I met him, I said to myself. Knowing the consequences attached, I sensed  from that moment that our marriage is near end right from the start as well as the crisis which the future holds for us.

Bolaji and I exchanged glances, and all we could see is sadness and a broken jar of hope. I see a fainted dream and a long path of regret and question of “had I known” which was boldly reflecting in our eyes . So many words wanted to race out of my mouth, but I chose to remain silent. My husband shook hand with the doctor saying a regretful thank you while we left his office immediately and walked through the passage silently with our faces down as we are left with nothing but a broken happiness.

My whole life was filled with regret wishing I could go back to the past as I kept saying to myself, “had I known, I should have stayed single forever or rather not be carried away carelessly.” I said to myself once more, now that we are trapped in this web of despair, I hope we won’t be a disappointment to our new born child, like I once claimed of my parents, “hmm”…I sighed.

#knowyourgenotype.
#knowyourpartnersgenotype.
#genotypeAwearness.
#WHOawearness.